ms low (rgspsb) passed away last night.
exactly a week later is weiqis 3rd death anniversary, and if you were to return to my 27/01/07 entry on green-anklesocks, you'll read about the first time i had ever encountered death.
and this would be the second tragedy to strike rgspsb.
when i first heard of her hospitalisation, my reaction was much the same as the one i had when i first heard of weiqis passing. shock. utter numbness, an isolation from the surroundings no matter how loud for the hour and the next. and of course, memories of weiqis passing ran through my mind. i remember the roar in my ears, and with the little sensation i had i wondered how the world could still go on spinning. thankfully, it slowly faded away when i realised that there was still hope for ms low to wake up. i believed in that- that she would.
so i held on to the tears, and i prayed.
i had wanted to skip out on the meeting they were holding this morning (which i ended skipped anyway due to involuntary reasons) because i knew that it would ruin my day. but little did i know that while i was still holding on to my fragile hope, that she was already gone.
the news came to me at the start of math lecture, through veras mouth. i remember wondering about her worried expression, thinking it strange until i heard what she had said. in that instance all the composure i had managed to gather evaporated and i felt the air escaping from me and the tears well up in my eyes.
i left the lt, sat for a moment in a corner and let the tears i knew i needed to cry come. i suppose i must have looked worrying- a random teacher felt compelled enough to ask if i was ok.
after clarifying the news with jeanhui, i spent the next hour or so back in my state of silent shock. and after school, together with many of the old psls, i returned to my alma mater the first time in a long while to listen to the teachers, understand how it occurred, and pen our wishes to her.
my grief, in comparison to that of many others, is minimal because although she was my teacher ic, i had not personally worked with her and thus, did not have many strong memories of her. and i refuse to show her disrespect by displaying a shallow mourning. what i did remember of ms low, however, was her sunny disposition and her strict regard for discipline. she emphasised on our roles as role models to the school, and perhaps most clearly and importantly, i remember and i know of her belief in us. through her efforts and those of the other teacher ics, both my sister and i, as well as many other generations of psls will and have enjoyed precious memories of their time serving as a psl forever.
perhaps what made things more difficult to deal with was the influx of memories from weiqis passing, details of that day and the next that i would never forget. the irony of it all? that i had been planning a post on the 26th sharing the effects of her passing on my life. now, it seems, i get to experience it all again.
i will not be going for ms lows wake in the coming days, because weiqis had been difficult enough, and i preferred not to see a family in grief once again, nor remember ms low any less then the cheerful, smiley woman she was.
I Pray for Ms Low's soul, and I Pray that the Lord will be with her family, especially her husband and her young child, in this difficult time. May He provide support and strength to all those who knew her and may she Rest In Peace. Amen.
