honestly, how can anyone be that self-absorbed?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
trying to appreciate the pentadactyl limb.
quoting fik: IMMA STUDY, BITCHEZ.
at the end of the day, it seems the more stubborn side of me won.
the side that is so ready to shout I AM NOT DONE YET. WATCH ME. I WILL KICKASS WITHOUT TUITION.
i wonder where all that self-esteem come from. but ill give ct2 a shot. if chemistry still proves itself better than me, then maybe ill seek emergency help.
or commit suicide.
just kidding.
on an equally uplifting note, after a gazillion years of begging I FINALLY HAVE MY OWN ROOM. ok its pretty makeshift and im likely to return to sleeping with my sis/ mom on school-less nights, but at least i have a place of temp refuge from my sisters inane 5.50am alarm clock. yay to the return of half an hour of sleep!
-fistpump-
Monday, March 29, 2010
dont tell me not to give up. dont tell me its just ct 1.
dont tell me anything. because i already know. and im so sick of knowing.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
(in echoing shiyins sentiments)
if only i could take all the talent in rjc and put it all into a little box that ill always carry around with me. that way, after i graduate, whenever i feel like the world is losing its focus or getting utterly hopeless, i could open it up and feel the passion and remind myself that human beings are capable so much genius.
because im so afraid i'll forget, what it feels like to surrounded by all these people who motivate you by their sheer intelligence.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
8.30pm
"off the light!"
-pause-
"mommy, off the light!"
"huh. why."
"earth hour leh. must put candle!"
"oh. okay."
"okay ah?"
i overheard the sound of a little girl persuading her mother to switch their lights off while i sat/am still sitting on the floor outside my house, with the door open so the light of the lift lobby can be let in. the parents are out, thankfully - i doubt they would appreciate an hour in complete (or not so complete, really) darkness. earth hour is really something that takes so little, yet when i went downstairs just a while ago to gauge the response, less then half of the apartments were completely dark. and who knows how many of those were just because the family went out for the night?
i cannot decide if i think that movements such as earth hour actually is worth the effort. sure, im sitting out here with the lights (and all the "vampire appliances", with the insistence of my increasingly environmentally friendly sister) off, but really - ah, the parents are back, and the first thing my mom did was to switch on the light in the kitchen to get a can of beer- how impactful can an hour of darkness be? even if the hour of darkness is global.
i do remember a time when i believed that the world could be saved on my individual effort, when every plastic bag i save somehow means lesser environmental damage. but along the way, it seems, ive got disillusioned, just as the rest of my family (and society) got more enlightened. (and... with the threat of my sisters wrath hanging over them i have convinced my parents to go outside, at least until 930. yes, even while shes downstairs "enjoying the lights offing" my sister can be very intimidating. speaking of which, shes just come back to collect all the empty boxes for the bags of cereal my dad imports to china everytime he returns for recycling. did i mention that shes very environmentally friendly?) how can recycling paper, taking the public transport, rejecting plastic bags be of
any impact at all when the major industrial countries spew tons of greenhouse gases into the environment every single second and political will so easily bends in favour of economic gains? dont even mention the complete failure of the Kyoto protocol, or perhaps more recently, Sarkozy giving up on his carbon taxation bill. our world is still too much a consumer to be effectively ecofriendly. we all like to point to the "bring your own bag" wednesdays and other more enlightened practices we have developed as consumers in recent years, but when it comes between saving the earth and our own materialism, i still think materialism wins. and unless every single person on this planet decides to sincerely begin to save the earth and start making consumption decisions based environmental impacts, environmentally friendly practices will be nothing more than a marketing trick.
while i do believe that only political policies are capable of achieving any significant success against environmental damage, i cannot ignore the importance of individual action. the usual "if everyone thought like you we'll all be worst off!" is a convincing enough for me to play my part (although perhaps less enthusiastically then my sister would like me too). but while i continue to try and lessen my own carbon footprint, i still believe that every step we take leads to our own inevitable destruction.
9.30pm
"mommmmyyyy. off the light!"
edit: so instead i made chocolate cake :D its baking now, if it turns out good i might bring a slice on monday.
i hate waking up in a bad mood. it spoils your whole day. (and no im not being PMS-y)
was supposed to make pasta today, but mom decided to give me a headstart while i was at art and ended up creating something more along the lines of tomato soup with minced meat and shrimp that i declared unsave-able.
so we didnt have pasta after all.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
when in rome JOSH DUHAMEL!!
edit: plus something beautiful by needtobreathe is on the soundtrack (Y)
edit2: in fact, their soundtrack IS good. Shine by Laura Izibor is up!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
the kind of quiet satisfaction you get when you wake up from a very long and refreshing sleep.
--
Defying Gravity is fast becoming a favourite, thanks to the good work of Glee and its cast. As a fan of Glee, as well as a fan of the original musical Wicked: The Musical, I have to say that although it is nice to be able to talk to people and have them share your passion for the song, its a very very very big pity that they know of the song not because of the original version, but because of the cover (no doubt, a one well done). It is my personal opinion that the original song is far more impressive, and the original musical, an amazing experience. So if you've only heard the Glee cover, please do take time (after the cts) to check out the original version. Besides Defying Gravity, there are also many other good songs in the musical, and if you approach me online perhaps i many be persuaded to ..... introduce you to a few.
On a similar note, i think Lea Michele (aka Rachel Berry) is such an amazing singer. listen to her "Don't Rain on My Parade" (Season 1 Ep 13). its insane. plus she makes rachel so convincing you want to slap her. Double Thumbs UP!
edit: heck, here it is, i love it too much
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
math was merciless.
complete with justin bieber's one time.
ill rather have died.
Monday, March 22, 2010
shout out to all my awesome awesome friends although i have exactly 7 minutes left to complete 3 binomal expansion questions. ytd i was totally freaking out at night cos i realised i really wasnt prepared sufficiently for macro econs essay, and i came online just for a second before i turned my comp off and found all these wonderful comments on my tagboard. and today i found ram and xinmins awesome posts on my fb wall and felt/feel so comforted that even if i crashed and burned the next day/or any other day for the rest of my life, ill still have people who love me! :D:D:D
thank you everybodyyyyy! luckily econs wasnt as bad as it could have been and i honestly think i made a rather valiant attempt that might not be sufficient for an A just yet but who knows i might get lucky and get a B. that being said i hope it does not turn around and bite me in the butt with a C.
ok end of extremely grateful rant! back to math. YOU TOO.
ohoh! and whatdya want from me was totally playing in my head during econs. but only during the breaks strangely. econs papers seem to have a silencer effect on music in my head o.o
Sunday, March 21, 2010
edit: A Level Year. im suddenly overwhelmed by the compelling desire to run away screaming and never ever ever return to this year. ever.
edit2: i realise it also acronyms to become ALY. which, im sure, all the alicias i know will not appreciate. xD
i think a lot of people are studying harder for these cts then they did for last years promos.
which is interesting. is it just the "this is my A level year, i should start actually working hard" mindset, or does studying hard get easier as we go along (and learn how to really make your studying count)?
or is it just cos dr chan has placed a B limit on referrals?
Friday, March 19, 2010
TEH MUGGERZ PLAYLISTO
1. Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade
2. Angels on the Moon - Thriving Ivory
3. Life is Like a Boat - Rie Fu
4. Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert
5. I Never Told You - Colbie Caillat
6. Remembering Sunday - All Time Low
7. Almost Lover - A Fine Frenzy
8. All the Right Moves - OneRepublic
9. Mad World - Adam Lambert
10. Spaceman - The Killers
11. Thinking of You - Katy Perry
12. Soulmate - Natasha Bedingfield
13. No Air - Jordin Sparks
14. Lemonade - Chris Rice
15. Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
16. Starstrukk - 3OH!3
17. Don't Trust Me - 3OH!3
18. Something Beautiful - Need To Breathe
19. Telephone -Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce
1. i think my prolonged lack of action in the love department is making my mom a bit anxious - last night she found it necessary to officially announce her support of me getting a boyfriend.
and sternly warned me to keep to the "sunny boys" because they are less prone to running me over with their mercedes benz if i achieve better a level results than they do.
not that it matters anws, but it kinda surprised me that she would be so liberal. a rare example in the sea of conservative chinese parents. what to say? MY MOM ROCKS.
perhaps i should stop telling her that i would grow old and die a spinster.
2. ytd when the hairdresser was blow-drying my hair, there were 2 predominant thoughts circling my head:
a. that he was using kinetic energy and mechanical force (the comb) to break the bonds in my hair! -insertsilentclapclap-
b. that he should blow dry my shoes too. they were wet the whole day thanks to the rain.
IM A GEEK AND I LUV IT.
3. is the number of days left till cts.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
you like? I LIKE.
i like the explosion of colour
i like how its so messy, but so elegant
i like how its so daring, in its own way
i like how its so... box-less
i likeeeee.
perhaps, symbolic of myself, breaking free from... myself. which, is the exact sentiment behind the new url. how appropriate.
the world needs more freedom like this. now, to find a good song to match the mood (((:
Monday, March 15, 2010
oh, i give up.
come, i dare you to do your worst. (:
Sunday, March 14, 2010
you tempt me with your breath
and your eyes
---
you brook no words
and cross no streams
you leave me flooded
---
you are a spectacle
and i am the audience
banned from backstage.
by Geoffrey Lim Mar 2010. Reposted with permission.
sometimes, borrowed words say things far better then i ever can.
IWANPASTAIWANPASTAIWANPASTAIWANPASTAAAAAAAAAAAA!
my pasta, to be exact.
RAWR TO THE CTS.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
as in drama, there are highs and there are lows.
what a shame, really.
you didnt say a word, but in that instance you brought me to ruin.
edit: as an antidote to all the emo-ness i suggest following up with a cuter, more lighthearted song. Spaceman by The Killers is a good one (:
woke up with this song in my head.
yup, its 5 whole minutes of emo, wrist slashing torture, so if you know you are in a vulnerable place right now i beseech you not to listen to it. and please DO NOT loop it. you'll end up feeling suicidal and ive only looped it 3 times.
but its a nice song.
anws, love goes out to shiyin, ro and unexpectedly, momo, for being all their concern over ytds post. and to everyone else who was there in the day.
Friday, March 12, 2010
i hate people who think they are qualified to judge someone else- their pressures, their fears, their feelings. everyone has different thresholds, everyone has the right to their own opinion. and being flippant about those thoughts and emotions is just disrespectful.
but its a innate human quality to be prejudiced, so i work very hard to try my best not to be someone like that and i work very hard to try to understand where each person is coming from. but sometimes some people push me too hard, and the stress gets to me - already, im losing my appetite.
cant you see im trying my best?
--
for those who know what im talking about, but dont know where im coming from, im not being a prissy spoilt girl. im not being demeaning, nor being whiny. and this definitely does not happen very often. i would normally be more prudent and quiet about things, but today it is causing me physical pain. if you cannot understand, then at least dont judge.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
edit: i realise Need You Now is am awesome song to just blast in the dark. close all the doors and windows, switch off the lights, on the aircon and just blast. love.
NEWFAVSONG.
i have a doodle that goes perfect with this song. but i dont have time to do it justice. so just listen.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
i seriously think that me eating 5000 calories a day is ACTUALLY POSSIBLE.
like i just ate more than half the bag of doritos, which is 141 calories per serving and supposedly has 7 servings... which makes an aggregate consumption of about 564 calories. of just doritos. omgomgomg i am going to DIE.
DDDDDDD:
oh the bright side, i am celebrating the temporary end of gp. thought i did ok, until biang pointed out that i completely ignored the concept of "today" in my essay so now i have no idea.
grahh.
and, im was about to mention how tiring it is to be constanting disappointed by men, but my post-gp mind is still extremely wary of making sweeping statements, so i should just say, despite what his movies say, JACK NEO IS STUPID.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
at the risk of sounding demeaning, i scored an A for my own last week (((:
in my blood test.
HOORAY! all shall rejoice now for the results of an 18 year old mystery :D and now i am officially a member of the sophisticated i-know-my-blood-type-hah! group.
my dad was miffed none of us inherited his B type blood though ahaha.
and so, like all normal bored people i decided that i should search my blood type personality. cos you know, its just so important to know. and i found out a couple of things:
1. apparently this blood type personality thing is really important to the Japanese, and even influences some of their choices. like employers use it to pick employees and stuff. typical for the nation that make movies like My Boyfriend is Blood Type B! (which is a nice show heh)
2. like all such generalisations, they dont apply to everyone. for example, although type As are known as farmers and yes i do like playing farming games a lot, the following sentence obviously doesnt really apply to me: A types are shy and sometimes withdrawn. They seek harmony and are very polite, but all the same feel that they never really fit in with others.
yay shy and introverted jo!
3. famous people that are also of type A include George W Bush, Britney Spears and OJ Simpson. nice to know that people who share my type of blood all turned out to be slightly unstable. and potentially murderous.
and of course, arguably the most important information of all,
4. A is most compatible with A and AB in the love department. (V)
Monday, March 8, 2010
i thought ill torture you guys along with me until i get to get myself into the kitchen... after cts.
so here, and when ever i feel like, i shall post some recipes i am hoping to try out. today its sweet potato pie, because 1. it looks so good, 2. my mom really loves sweet potatoes and all its healthy benefits and 3. its easy.
oh yes, i think all the recipes are doable, in the sense that i would and could probably do them if i had the time to. they wouldnt turn out that appetising looking though haha, but still.
and nope, this aint going to become a food blog anytime soon. just you know, a usual teenage girls blog with awesome photos of food.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
if this does not compell you to want to make your own fries, you must be dead.
i am soooo overdue for a good cookout. but right after cts, i promise myself.
(recipe for homebaked fries can be found here. simplicity is chic. and delicious.)
so friday was A level results day, and what with all the 4As vs not 4As, its been a seriously stressful omg its my A level year wts am i still doing i should be inhaling my notes like nobodys business thing.
except. i am still slacking anws. really one of these days i feel inclined to shoot myself in the head for being such an awful person.
gah.
next year when its our turn i really want to be the one with the 4As. and to get there i really need to start working now. nownownow. to work harder then ive ever worked before. really.
its kinda unfair how the devastation of not getting an A is so many times more then the satisfaction of getting that A. ):
meh. new song is Need You Now by Lady Antebellum.
--
and youre the second one to walk away. ah wells, i expected as much.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
its so easy to forget sometimes, esp when work catches up.
but today on the bus home i thought about ms lows smiling face, and weiqis fingers and i mourned a little for them both.
and i know these instances will always stay by me, just to remind me how precious and fleeting life can be.