today was a lousy day for.. just about everyone i think.i miss the grades in my dream ):
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
edit: it failed! )))): nvm i will try again this weekend. i will not be bested by dessert.
wahhhh.
i think my tiramisu failed. we shall see. if it hadnt vera tmr you can have yours (:
if not.... maybe next week i'll try again.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
i think, when people misspell words in their fb statuses they should correct it, even if it looks dumb that your status appears twice on your profile.
everyone makes mistakes. leaving it there just makes you seem dumber.
today is a better day.
Monday, September 27, 2010
sometimes, sometimes i just feel like sinking a knife into the centre of my chest and twisting it, twisting it until the blood pools around me, covering up her expectations and her disappointments so that i cannot see them. and then i will scoop it up, scoop it up to dye my tears and my body red.
and then ill make blood angels on the floor. because that would make me laugh.
but i dont.
i dont because there is a voice inside me that screams to me that that is stupid. that im worth far more than that. and i know its true. i know that the value of my existence is far too high to be judged by anyone. anyone. i am smart, beautiful, confident and i deserve better. it doesnt matter how other people take me to be. maybe im not enough to them, maybe im too much. but it doesnt matter.
it doesnt matter because in the end, i am the one who will live with myself. i am the one who knows myself the best. i am the one who knows: This is Me. This is what I believe in. This is what I am capable of. other people can tell me that im not good enough, im not working hard enough, but at the end of the day, i act according to my principles and i can live with myself.
and that is enough for me.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
i actually dreamt of my grade slip ytd.
it was ok in the dream. but... i realise that this is perhaps the first time in my life im scared of getting my grades back. like petrified. im usually not the "I DONT DARE TO LOOOKKKK. IM NOT GOING TO LOOK LOOK FOR MEEE!" kind because ive always thought, you deserve whatever grade you get. but this time? the pressure to do well is suffocating and honestly? you can never be sure you did good. not with RJ papers. im not sure what i'll do if i score less then ideal really. because the only subject im allowing myself to do poorly in is GP. and even that is already a blow.
i really really really need to do well.
i just want to get everything over and done with really. there are still SAT IIs to be looking forward too (bummer) and then the actual As. im not entirely worried about As yet (one step at a time eh?) but if the prelim results come back poor im pretty sure i will be.
my dreamt up grades?
Bio A
Chem A
Math B
GP C (haha as if)
Econs D
if i get something like that i'll be pretty satisfied. (although a D in econs would be disappointing)
Friday, September 24, 2010
WHOOHOOOOO!
I AM DAMN HIGH NOW.
it appears that if you abstain from fast food for too long, your body cant keep up with it when you actually consume it.
ive had macs TWO TIMES this past 2 weeks and that is more than ive had it for the past 9 months. which is why i totally feel like throwing up after my mcspicy and the two cups of coke i had?
= INSANE JO
ROCK ON PEEPS. ROCK ONNNNNN. \--/
p.s. if the song plays, its Like A G6, by Far East Movement. I usually don't like posting clubby songs, but this one is SUPER CLUBBY YOU CAN CLUB TO IT. and i like it. anddddd, it fits the partayyyin mood. and far east movement always reminds me of far east plaza.
p.s.s if the song doesnt play, you can go look it up! then club to it (Y)
so hello (:
as you can see, im so on my way to holiday-mood alr. hahaha.
nah, its just cos the previous blogskin keeps not loading, and i didnt like the tabs thing.
i never like the tabs thing, so we shall not go there again, no matter how cute the blogskin is heehee.
yay to languid not-so-sunny mornings.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
gummies are my weakness.
especially if they are sugar-coated. i think non-sugarcoated gummies are just lame. and sour. yeahhhh sour sugar-coated gummies.
gimme a bag of those and i'll do anything you want.
they also make me feel better (:
ytd was superrrr fun cos i went out with chong and erik and fang and bought a super cute dress and then wore it out afterwards to my moms friends place to celebrate mid autumns :D
yay i havent had a COMPLETE NO STUDYING day like that for a long long time!
today im taking it easy too, but more because i cant compell myself to study because im terribly irritated with myself. i knew i shouldnt have done that. it was damn stupid. i will not compromise my principles by ever doing that again.
argh i really cannot take it when this kind of shit happens.
ah wells.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
i bought a damn cute dress today.
glory!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
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twas very very bored. yes i know the models very ugly cos i suck at drawing people so imagine lah! inspired by ANTM and Love the Way You Lie by Rihanna feat Eminem, "When a Volcano meets a Tornado"
Monday, September 20, 2010
I HAS BEEN EXERCISING.
had a really really good swim today, considering the pool was 100% empty and the water was nice (though not as clean as it could be) and... THERE WERE NO LITTLE CHILDREN! yeahhhhhh.
it feels nice to get my blood apumpin and my little rbcs amovin and my fats adisappearin again :D
AND THERE WERE NO LITTLE CHILDREN! i even managed to do my backstroke, how awesome is that.
after prelims, i shall go buy myself a bikini. that will motivate me to work towards healthy again :D and will also come in handy should my dad manage to persuade my sis to let our family hang out at mbs infinity pool :D:D
Sunday, September 19, 2010
every morning this weekend ive been waking up only because my sleep-muddled brain starts to throw me "YOU FAILED MATH" signals and i crawl up to punch the calculator to try to reassure myself that i didnt. maybe.
i did fail pure math of paper 2 though. i think.
my moms having a recent spat of "omg i just rediscovered all my sec school friends!"
so we've been having an influx of phone calls and emails from gushing women. its pretty cool to watch them reconnect. of course, we wouldnt face the same problem because Mark Zuckerberg and friend invented FaceBook. but still, i wonder about the time someone would call me and we would swap pictures of our kids online.
-creepy-
Saturday, September 18, 2010
math was unfun. completely, terribly unfun.
-mopes-
Thursday, September 16, 2010
IZ GETTING FAT. BOOOO.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
i think, i have a lot to be thankful for today.
i studied for math paper 2. yes, slap me now. found out when the doors opened, when bea silently and blankly replied to my question ("so, are you doing stats first or pure math first?"): "its paper one, jo."
GG. but really, it could be a lot worse. yes it definitely could be better if i studied properly, but it wasn't like i was completely lost. i think i survived this paper based on prayer alone, so Bless the Lord!
i'll forgive myself this time and pray for a C and above.
bio was bleah. considering my record, this is perhaps the first time i left a question blank. but considering how little i studied, i think i did ok. (k someone needs to clarify the 1:1:1:1 vs 9:3:3:1 question. i didnt actually read the question so its entirely my own fault if i get it wrong, but at least i'll like to know if i do.)
tmr is break day, then econs. May the Lord bring us through (:
Monday, September 13, 2010
chem was not horrendous, which is a blessing in itself. :D of course, i lost stupid marks with that 0.44% and not 44% question, and that lousy last part of 4 where i CNed wrongly and and and OH YEAH. BASE B OF FUNNY CH3Br question!
but who cares, i saw everybody again. i likeeeeee. i'll be so sad when school ends T.T
Sunday, September 12, 2010
chem is looming and i have this horrible feeling of being unprepared. which needless to say, means im not supposed to be here. but i dropped by anws and read veras tag and teeeee. i love my fwens :D it's the only thing propelling me to school tmr ):
Thursday, September 9, 2010
its kinda sad, to think we have nothing left except exams anymore. its also kinda symbolic, how our formal education summarises into a grand finale of exams.
Monday, September 6, 2010
(before i start: hurray to people who still visit! ilyguys! :D)
before i say this, i would just like to say that this is my personal opinion and i know i would piss a lot of people off by saying this, and regardless of your position on this ilyall ((:
i have decided, that ive had enough of this taylor swift bs. so im boycotting her! woohooo!
i was just shuffling my itunes and taylor swifts You Belong With Me decided to play. and i think ive said this before, but could she be any more whiney? so i decided, enough was enough, and i refuse to indulge her/ destroy my brain with any more of her crap.
sorry loves (like amanda and shiyin and liza who i know are total t.s. lovers. shiyin pls dont hate me!) xD
t.s. is like disney. both of them make TONS of money by deluding people. i totally agree that she rakes in millions because she sings about this stuff girls (and guys too, pls do not deny) want to hear. but like disney, all she does is go on and on about this lovey dovey stuffums that excuse me does not really exist in real life.
yes, i am a cynic. this doesnt mean i dont want such things to exist. it just means i dont actually believe its possible that you run into The Love of Your Life at a ball (did her lit teacher forget to teach her that R&J ultimately died, or is this a blatant disregard for truth? think disney and the prettified little mermaid ending. i seeth for Shakespeare.), or your best friend you've always been pining for is made for you, or this guy that you always loved but was so scared of loving because your parents' broken marriage scarred you for life starts pledging his heart to you in a carpark, or wtv.
im not saying listening to this kind of songs are bad. they are happy love songs. the world needs more happy love songs. but t.s. built her entire career on it. and it gets immensely D: after like 10 of such songs.
like ok. Teardrops was nice. refreshingly pop-country, which was something new and good! then Our Song was just romantic aww. Fearless (which is actually my favourite) is a really catchy tune. YBWM was sweet initally, but after 5 million times of YOU BELONG WITH ME! WITH ME! WITH MEEEEEEE! it gets... disturbing. and then Mine comes along and its just Come ON!
so from today onwards i will not actively consume all this fluff anymore. goodbye taylor!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
i think this place is officially dead. hahaha. but ok wtv, its actually kinda hard to start blogging again when you havent for a long time. if you are still here, for some strange reason, please drop a tag so i know im not mumbling to myself! (albeit in a very low and sexy voice -squiggly eyebrows-)
its the holidays! yay (: the first 2 prelims were bleargh, especially since i got really sick on tuesday and only managed to drag myself through gp (very poor assertive essay, plus a rubbish aq ): ) and econs.. is econs.
i initially thought i did ok for econs, but then i got home and spent my afternoon nap dreaming of econs questions that i completely misread and did not answer properly/ answer at all. yes, i know, econs is HAUNTING ME IN MY SLEEP. what is this ): so i woke up and looked at the questions again and realised i could have put in a couple more points. but hopefully i still did ok..
ah wells, everything looks bad in retrospect.
school term is officially over (FORLIFE.) and ive gotten over my first bout of missing everybody. or it got ousted by my flu, or something. im pretty sure once the meds clear off my head ill start missing everybody again, but until then, my drug-induced drowsiness means i can only focus on one task at a time, which is MUGGING. (Y)